Remeber When We Weren't?

I wanted you so badly it made me sick. The vomiting and cold sweats I could deal with, but not your face in every thought. Behind every word I spoke. Awkward glances towards you in hopes of catching your attention. Hoping maybe you were doing the same. Almost worshiping you. But I should have been because you were pretty much my god at the time.

You had me wrapped around your fingers (and every other part of your body) and you didn't even know it. Still don't actually. See, that's one of my few talents. Making sure those messy little emotions don't fuck things up. So you never caught on.

My fantasies of you became so realistic that I could feel your lips on mine. Skin heating and pulsing in anticipation. The cold hard metal of my squeeky old pick-up sticking to our shadow covered forms. Feel the gentle march of your fingers up to that place that had been yours for quite some time. You fit like a glove. Your perfectly moist lips on my neck and mine on yours. Bodies blurring together in a passionate heap. Sweat the only barrier keeping our bodies from becoming completely one. Painted on to each other like temporary tattoos.

Only dreams though. Creepy, I know. But it wasn't on purpose, let me assure you. I was an unwilling participant in this game of chase. Unrealistic, because this isn't a movie. Guys like you don't end up with girls like me.

So I just kept on pushing. Made a pact with myself that this was it. Stole one last look of you and closed the door on that thought. Because the truth is, even if you had liked me back we never would have worked out. Because you are you and I am I. The girl that likes you too much and the guy that likes me too little.