Nut Up, or seriously, Shut the Fuck Up

Deep breaths. Remember. in. Out. Don't forget. Quit holding your breath. It makes you dizzy. Disoriented. Not think right.

Fingers trembling like a crack whore in need of another hit. Dancing frantically across those little black keys. Backspacing when the right words just wouldn't come out. Trapped behind these sealed lips. Ducking behind the screen of my computer as if it were an army blockade.

Of course I couldn't tell you in person. I'm a coward. Sure I was "brave" but not brave enough. Hiding behind humor and add-ins. Subconciouslly hoping to distract you from the actual subject at hand.

I'm guessing it didn't work. I'm sure you could see past my puns. Eyes scanning the screen. Probably thinking I was retarded or didnt have all of the marbles to my chinese checkers set. But it doesnt matter. I dont care what happens ftom here. Just the fact that I decided to nut up and tell you is good enough for me.

And, hey. I did get something out of it. You're the reason I'm writing now. What got me out of my literary funk. So if I can never thank you for anything else. I thank you for this.